Friday, June 1, 2012

New low.

Quickly:  The derby at home was a total disaster.   It was cold, it rained, and I fell off three times in two days.   I had a bad, bad weekend.    I've scratched from Golden Spike.   I'm healing a mild concussion, a deep hip bruise, and a sprained finger.   I'm also taking serious steps toward fixing my damn brain/emotions/attitude and my out-of-balance body.    I don't care that I'm not even at BN level yet -- I want this to work.  I want to event.  I want to fly around cross-country without freezing up.  My horse is awesome and she can completely, totally do this.  It's me that needs adjustment.

And honestly, I've had weekends this bad before.  Including falling twice in a day.  I think this is common, yes? I just need to get better.  In all ways.   Trying to avoid negative thoughts and self-talk (to be all pop-psych about it), trying to find a good, constructive way to direct anger.   Thinking too hard about it still makes me choke up, though.

So ... I'm back to the saddle today.  Off to go ride around in two-point.   New rule for the month of June: no dressage saddle.  Jumping position practice only.   Except maybe for a Test of Choice, but we'll see.

I could use some encouragement.

11 comments:

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    1. Thank you -- I'm getting better every day. :)

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  2. You can do TOC in a jump saddle. If I go, I'll be doing it too. ;-)

    :-( Sorry for your rough weekend. Hope the healing goes smoothly and on schedule.

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    1. Thanks ... so far so good. I'mma make it.

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  3. I so know you're "pain" on all levels! Your determination and willingness to work hard will be the driver to your success! Rock on girlfriend! And celebrate tenacity!

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    1. Thank you -- I know you have been there, for sure. :) I'll make it, slowly but surely.

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  4. Um... your pain not you're pain... sorry... (I do know the difference and now, can't blame it on autocorrect!

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  5. Ouch! I don't blame you for not feeling great after that. I think you need to talk to your trainer and get their thoughts...

    Feel better!!

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    1. Yeah ... it was rough. MT's thoughts are that I need to keep practicing. :) He's right; I do. I'm not ill-suited to my horse, my horse isn't sour or dirty, et cetera. I just need to keep getting fitter and keep practicing position. And any other work I do emotionally will help, too. It'll all work out, if I put the work into it.

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