Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Sad. Fun.

I've been quiet lately, mostly deliberately.  Selling Reveille is an emotional process -- I don't know if I've posted this here yet, but if I have you can just skip to the end.

Selling this horse I've had for five years, trained from not steering to jumping 2'6-3'0, fallen off of, loved, hated, and always cared for is really, really difficult.  It honestly feels like I'm getting a divorce.  An amicable divorce, but a divorce nonetheless.  Like, it's not you, it's me -- I love you but it's just not working any more -- I want you to be free to do something you'll love, and I need to be free to be confident kind of thing.   I feel like I'm betraying my little mare, selling her to someone who won't love her as much as I do, someone who might not take as good care of her as I do, et cetera.

At the same time, I'm really looking forward to a horse I feel confident on, a horse that's been there, done that and isn't going to be surprised by anything I present him with (within reason).  I'm really looking forward to feeling like a rider again instead of a pile of suck in a saddle.   And I want Reveille to be blissfully, blissfully happy too.  I think she will be, but ... it doesn't quite silence the sad voice inside me.

In the end, I am making the right decision, even if it hurts.   She won't hold it against me, I hope.  Horses live in the moment, right?


I'll know tonight if she's sold.

Meanwhile, I'm looking toward finding a new horse.  I have three strong candidates right now: a Haflinger, a Paint/Standardbred, and a Thoroughbred.   I think -- I hope -- the TB is going to be the best of the batch, but I am trying hard not to get my hopes up.   I'm headed out on a horse-trying trip with The Sprinkler Bandit at the end of the month to try these three horses.  We have this vague hope that we'll both end up with handsome chestnut schoolmasters and be able to make posts about OLD RED MADNESS.   Post pictures of us, our chestnut geldings, our awesome rides, and our ribbons.

But mostly the awesome rides.  :)

In the more immediate meantime, I have a catch ride: a barn friend's little Arabian gelding.  Hee.   I am so not a fan of Arabians in general, but this little guy is just sweet.  And fun to ride!  Very different from Rev, but fun.  So I will post pictures of little Rhett in the next days, just for fun.

And tomorrow I'll be scribing for the Test of Choice night -- fun fun!

1 comment:

  1. I was out taking pics of a few friends XC schooling. One of the girls sold her beloved horse because he no longer wanted to be a Training Level eventer - his feet hurt. So, she cried and cried over her decision and now 1 year later, he's happier than a pig in shit with an owner who wants to do dressage with him but really is using him for trail riding and as her own personal Barbie Doll.. living the high life.

    Everyone in this situation is happy... my friend with her new horse, her old horse with his new person. Reville will be happy...