Two things:  first, like everyone else, I'm sending all my love and best thoughts to Lauren.  If anyone reading this hasn't seen the GoFundMe for her, here it is:  Gift for Lauren.  I only wish I could give more.

Second, thank you all for your supportive words to me.  I'm getting a lid on the crazy, mostly, and a good look at Apollo's legs tells me that yes, my fear of ringbone is ridiculous.  He does have nicks and dings and scar tissue from cutting himself - his skin keloids up like it's its job - but he's sound.  I do think, though, that I should probably consider hock injections sooner rather than later.  I think that would make him more comfortable in work.

As for the jumper's bump, yeah, it's there.  Slight, but there.  I'm imagining things.  It's not a jumper's bump, it's a slight roach.   Part of the problem, I think, is that he needs another 50-75 pounds.  He's got good muscling, but he needs MOAR.  So - plan is to continue schooling and exercising and doing horsey calisthenics to strengthen and build muscle, and I also picked up some Cool Calories to give him a better fat layer.  I never had this trouble in Idaho, and he started perking up significantly when I started him on alfalfa.  So ... apparently alfalfa is what he eats.  Can do.  It's just money, right?   (*cries as little moths fly out of wallet*)

Looks like I won't be able to run River Glen at the end of July.  Not because of crisis of confidence or anything like that, but because I have to be in Manhattan for work the week before.  I might could do the Starter on Saturday, but the possibility of having to work through the weekend is significant.  So ... later in the year it is.

And ... plans for the new arena at our barn are UNDERWAY!    SQUEEEE!  Good footing!  Dressage training!  JUMPING!   *dies*

Sudden stress.

So I'm suddenly consumed by horse stress.  So many stresses.  Self-doubt, really: am I taking the correct care of my horse?  Am I riding him correctly?  Am I actually injuring my horse?  What is this lump?  Do I need to call the vet?  Is he neurologic?  Was that a normal stumble or toe-dragging?  *pulls hair out*    Yeah.  Stress.

Last week, I arrived at the barn to discover that beloved ponykins had knocked over the panels in front of the barn designed to keep horses out of the barn.  I discovered him with his head in the pelleted feed bin, munching away; all three feed bins (beet pulp, alfalfa pellets, and Tribute Kalm n' EZ) were open, as well as the bin holding the cookie bag.  He'd also eaten several flakes of the compressed alfalfa bale I'd bought the week before.  ARGH.  I checked him out, and he seemed to be fine; vet recommended 3 days of Banamine just in case, and cold hosing his front feet, again just in case.  He didn't get *too* much more feed than he gets, total, in a day, and he hadn't had breakfast that day, but still.

Oh, and?  He'd pulled both his front shoes, likely the day before but possibly that day.  Gah.  One hell of a party in the pasture - no shoes, trash bin knocked over, panels over, eating straight from the carton ...

Temp, pulse, respiration, gut sounds, and manure were all good, no pain in his fronts, and they stayed that way.  So no real stress there, just a Thing That Happens Sometimes With Horses.

But ... I'm all freaked out that he's got a jumper's bump.  And that he's too thin.  And that he has no muscle.  And that he has ringbone.  And that he might be neurologic.

I mean, seriously.  These worries are, in order, probably silly; enh, he's a TB, he doesn't really do "fat;" patently silly; unlikely because he's sound, his x-rays never showed any hint of it, and the vet never mentioned it; and unlikely.

But at the same time ... part of me wants to collapse in a neurotic weepy pile with worry.  If he's got a jumper's bump, WHY?   HOW?  Did he always?  I'm looking for older photos of his back.  I know I have some.  And I always do horsey situps with him - getting him to tuck his hindquarters by running spurs lightly down the back of his quarters - and tummy tucks, and leg stretches, all to keep his topline strong and his back, hindquarter, and ab muscles strong and supportive.  I do carrot stretches with him too.  Am I imagining things?   And it leads into ...

Jumper's bump?  Or just my mind playing tricks on me?

Am I riding him correctly, working to strengthen his muscles and his correct carriage, the way I intend to ride?  Am I getting enough hind leg engagement?  (Almost certainly not, but I work at getting more and more.)  Is working on this uneven, unlevel surface - his pasture, with somewhat hard footing - hurting him, rather than helping?  I had thought that it'd be good for him, that he'd improve his balance - if we can be balanced and engaged on THIS surface, we can damn well be balanced and engaged in a nice dressage arena, was my thought.   But is it not helping?  I can't see his hind end, so am I imagining any improvement?  I watched the video of last year's derby, and I realized that I rode pretty well.  So I *can* ride ... or I *could*.  Can I still?  AM I still?

And on this unlevel surface, he does of course stumble.  He sometimes stumbles in the fancy arena at NT's place, too, but not nearly as much.  Do I need to worry?  Is he neurologic?  He jumps fine, doesn't get tangled up in himself ... I think.  Is his constant desire to have his head rubbed and his rubbing his face on his legs as soon as I dismount a symptom of Head Shaker Syndrome?  Are the various lumps and bumps on his pasterns ringbone?  They didn't show up on his rads when we took them, but did I cause it?  Does it develop late?   IS MY HORSE DYING AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IT???

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!


And THEN ... there's all the stress about whether we can and should get out to school XC and then go to a little jumper show this weekend.  I need to get the trailer mats organized tonight, and I hope that will help Apollo's loading issue.  I honestly think that mats plus not squshing him in with the divider will solve the issue - I think he was feeling really unstable and like he doesn't have enough room as it was.  The trailer *is* a bit too small for him.

Do I suck as a rider?  As a horse mom?   Suddenly I feel the way I imagine first time parents must feel, especially if they don't have parents of their own still living.   Like, totally adrift and wondering what I'm screwing up today.

Before Enlightenment

So.  The health saga goes on (and on ... and on ...) but I am determinedly focusing on a solution, not the problems, so I'll gloss over that.  Suffice to say that even if I don't feel 100%, I'm busting my ass to do all my normal stuff.  Including ride, do barn chores, work on improving the place, all that good stuff.

I'm working on developing Apollo's hind engagement - one of those things covered in "chop wood, carry water" - and he's doing well!  Lots of transitions between and within gaits, making sure that I don't school shit.  Today's plan, if it's not raining, is trot sets.  Tomorrow's plan, if it's not raining, is hack, then Sunday, if all goes as planned, up to NT's place for a dressage lesson in between barn chore shifts.

That barn chore shifts thing is something I'm really excited about.  Hang out with excellent people and learn from them by osmosis; get exercise doing something I enjoy; and work off lessons.  How could this be bad?  :D  The only drawback is the drive up there, but ... it's workable.  Especially if I'm working off lessons.  So some number of Sundays during the month, I'll get to hang out with the team.

Plus, things are shaping up at the home barn.  SO exciting there too.  BO and I went to Tractor Supply last night, and it's amazing how much difference a good manure cart makes in keeping things tidy.  It was downright fun to clean the stall.  (The refill of PDZ helped too.)   The push broom makes me happy, and I'm bringing a leaf style rake from home.  We also picked up some 3/4 inch matting for the trailer floor.  I think this, plus changing the way I buckle Apollo in, will make a huge difference in Apollo's willingness to trailer.  The mats will need trimming and Tetris-ing to fit precisely, but that will happen Saturday.  That way they'll be ready to go for Sunday early.

Next, a few loads of gravel to level out the stall Apollo's in, then I'll get actual stall mats for his stall, and bed it appropriately, and things will be MUCH better come winter.  And now, but yknow.  Winter is a big deal.  Just need to figure out how we'll schedule letting him out in the mornings.  A bridge to cross when we get there, really.  Just things doing better and better.

Oh, and - I had decided to skip the River Glen Horse Trials in July/August, thinking we weren't ready ... nah.  If we can get onto the course a couple of times and work hard in the meantime, we can at the VERY least do Starter, if not BN as planned.  Excelsior!

Today: Trot
Sat: Hack
Sun: Dressage
Mon: Off
Tues: Longe in side reins
Weds: Dressage
Thurs: Dressage
Fri: Off
Sat: Jump
Sun: Jump? Dressage?

Seriously!

To add insult to injury, turns out I'm allergic to sulfa.  The allergy manifests as hives and swollen, painful joints.  Fun on its own, I'm sure, but I had spent the day clearing brush ... at some point I must have twisted my ankle a little and strained the ligaments.  The sulfa allergy took that minor strain and turned it into a one-legged-lame, wake-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night pain.  

So before the doc yesterday, I looked like a one-footed leper who'd been in a fist fight.

After the doc and a shot of dex, I look like a slightly gimpy, less itchy leper who's been in a fist fight.

But at least things are on the upswing.  I get to see my pony tonight, if only to feed and fly spray, because I'm still in early days on healing bone, and that always means I'm in need of sleep.  Matt calls it the regenerative coma.  :)

Great weekend! Awful end to it.

Apparently it was not a good weekend for trailering and noses.

But let me start at the beginning.

I went up to NT's place to help clear the trail that goes around the property - it's a cool thing, but it was all but impassable in a few places because of all the brush.  So the call was put out for volunteers to help clear it.   Well, heck, thought I, I'll kill two birds with one stone and go do work in the morning, then ride in the afternoon!

So I hooked up S' truck to her trailer, packed the trailer, and went to head out Saturday morning.  Apollo is turning into kind of a brat about the trailer.  I honestly think he just doesn't like it - it's a 3H slant with just a wood floor, no mats, and it's relatively small, so he's squnched in (totally a word) when the divider is closed.  So I think he finds it an unpleasant ride, even though it's open and airy.  And I am pretty sure he has my number on this, because he refuses to load when it's just me, but when I get a second person behind him with a stick in their hand to help load him, he walks right on.  No stick even needed.  And he tries to turn around in the trailer and walk out forward as soon as possible when I unhook the lead thingy.

Trail maintenance went well!  The trail is really pleasant, and with those steep hills it'll be good conditioning work.  Clearing brush was quite the job, though ... oof.  If it weren't for a couple of ladies and their power tools on the first pass, we'd have had a much harder job.  Once we got the path cleared enough, the bush hog went through.  Woot!  I brought enough to drink and didn't dehydrate myself this time, too.  I am still exceptionally sore today.  Although, as you'll see, that might not just be the work ...

Then I had a lesson with NT.  At first, I was having trouble getting Apollo on the compressed, powerful trot step he needs, just going back and forth over a gymnastic.  I got the trot right, and we started working on Apollo really using himself over fences.  He had been jumping a little flat, just pushing off with one foot, not really making any effort.  So even though there was a great course set up, including a little liverpool and a shark-tooth that I would have liked to jump, we just worked back and forth over the vertical.  It was all about Apollo, and he had to do his job.  He hit the fence once, and he really did NOT like that.  He hit it, stumbled, and then spooked.  Poor kiddo!  When he finally got it - push off with both hind feet, bascule for days, and knees to nose, we called it a day.  It was pretty damn fun to ride, and NT said it looked great.  I have to say, it was nice to have my position squared away and be able to focus on the horse for once!

So after more loading shenanigans, we headed home.  Got home, pulled the truck and trailer into the pasture as usual, closed the pasture gate, and parked so I could unload the pony.  Opened the rear door, got on the trailer (no escape door), undid the divider, put Apollo's lead rope on his halter, and unhooked him from the trailer lead thing.  I was about to unload him when he swung his head around and bashed me in the face.

Y'all, I have never seen stars like that before.  Ow ow ow ow.  I am not sure if I unloaded him or if he unloaded himself; I don't really remember.  My nose was bleeding, my hat was knocked off, my glasses were hanging off my face, etc.  I knew this had actually broken my nose.   So I staggered over to Apollo, took his halter off, and walked up to the house for help - S *is* a doctor!  They weren't home, though, so I called Matt and told him I needed him to pick me up and take me to the emergency room ... and then I fed the horses.  Because it hadn't started to really hurt yet, and I knew that it would start, so I better get on the stick in a hurry before I couldn't any more.

X-ray confirms the break, but no displacement - yay.  Seriously, I did NOT want to go through setting it.

So I look terrible, all swollen and a nasty black eye (red, actually, since my skin is so pale) and a cut on my nose.

Sigh.  Bad juju.

Review: Woof Wear Smart Event Boots

NOTE: Video entry one back ...

So I haven't had a pair of cross-country boots yet.  I kind of had my heart set on a set of white Dalmar event boots, but the money didn't really work out, and I didn't want to pull the trigger too soon, etc.  I'm not so much of a tack ho as TSB, but I have to acknowledge that Apollo has a lot of boots.  (Note to self: need a replacement set of petals and a strap for the black petal boots)  So I've been holding off.

But with the xc schooling scheduled for last week, I decided I needed to pull that trigger.  And in order to get them in time for schooling, I needed to order from Amazon Prime.  I couldn't find the Dalmar boots at the time - of course, NOW they're back in stock! - and the Woof Wear Smart Event Boots had the same attributes: lightweight, solid protection at the critical points on each leg, perforated neoprene to not hold water or heat, venting, and good velcro. They have good reviews, too, and I didn't feel like they'd rub.  Plus, they'd show up in time!  So ... trigger pulled.

Front boot

It's a little odd that I chose the Woof boots, because I really, really hate their brushing boots.  I know.  I'm the only one in the world who doesn't like them.  I just hate the way they wrap - it seems backwards to me to have the back part wrap over the front, then the elastic from front to back.  I don't like their shape, I don't like that they don't come in white (okay FINE they come in white), I just ... I don't like them Sam I Am!

Anyway, I tried them on Apollo, and the Medium fit perfectly.  I felt like they didn't pull quite tight enough at first, but I adjusted them a bit and for the rest of it I reminded myself they're not supposed to be TIGHT, just secure.  And they were.  Apollo didn't object, didn't try to rub them off with his nose, and just chippered right along.

We tested them over stadium fences, rather than the planned xc, so I don't have a full review yet, but over stadium they worked beautifully.  We did klonk some fences, and he didn't have a single bobble afterward.  The boot barely scuffed.  When I took them off, his legs weren't any hotter than they are in open front jump boots, and he hadn't sweated his cannon bones off.

If there was one drawback, it was that they did take off a bunch of unshed hair.  ;)  So not a drawback at all.

Exactly what they looked like when they got here,
except mine said M ...

Overall, I'll know more when I finally get out on the xc course, but preliminary review is that they're worth buying.   I'd recommend finding a better deal than full price, but I'm pleased nonetheless.

Photos of Himself himself wearing them coming soon ...

Video as promised

Only a week late ... !!

I have caveats: I wasn't riding well!  Yes, the jumps are low, but height wasn't what we were going for.  Apollo was starting to get tired and hot.  I know I need to do better folding at the hip.  Just ... don't judge.  :)  Look at the pretty horsie!

Change of plans

So!   This weekend happened.  Not quite as planned, but productive anyway.   I hauled up to NT's barn on Saturday afternoon - later than I'd planned, but we got there - so as not to have to haul all the way up to the home xc course at ungodly o'clock on Sunday morning to ride at 10:30.  The theory was that I'd be able to load up and head out with the rest of the team and follow them over.   I swiped some leather cleaner across all my tack before going in for dinner and sleep.

After staggering out to make sure Apollo was fed and happy on Sunday morning, I discovered that the xc schooling had been canceled based on the weather prediction - storms rolling in and more on the way.  Bummer.  What I really should have done right that second was go grab another hour and a half of sleep, another two liters of water, and food, then go see about a lesson.

What I did was surf Facebook groggily, then go volunteer for a jump lesson in the covered arena.  Note the lack of water and food ... this proved to be a bad decision in the long run.

I rode terribly over the first set of jumps.  Like, worse than NT has ever seen me ride.  My muscles felt like spaghetti, and my body just felt dull and heavy and energyless.  My legs were not answering my brain, and I'm not sure my brain knew what to ask of my muscles in the first place.

Fortunately, another student/helper/organizer came in with coffee for NT and information right then, so I took the opportunity to grab a bottle of Vitamin Water (with calories, important) from the truck.   Half the bottle later, I felt better, and I was riding a bit better.  The whole bottle later, I actually started to ride well, lock my lower leg in, and, yknow, steer.  Sheesh.  I need to remember how to hydrate in the Southern humidity!

I think the best run at the gymnastic (bounce to one-stride) came when I focused on Denny Emerson's advice on the approach: ALLOW the horse's movement to fold my hip and knee angles and push me into the question mark shape over the fences.

I came away from the lesson with a few thoughts/homeworks:

• Apollo needs to be stronger through the hind end, able to maintain a compressed, powerful trot on the approach to the fences.
• I need to develop more rider fitness and endurance.
• Apollo also needs more fitness and endurance.
• I need to think not only of Denny's question mark but also of not falling back into my pattern of riding with my upper body too upright.  Even slender, I'm ... ah ... top-heavy, so I tend to overcompensate.
• Hydrate correctly next time!!

So alas for no xc, but hooray for gymnastics!  As soon as I get the video from the student/helper/organizer, I will post it.  :)

I hope I have time to start updating more regularly.  I have time today, so here's an update!  I apologize for the lack of photos, and I'll try to correct that.  Photos of me riding will be few and far between, but I'll try.

The mud is abated.  Sing hosanna!  The pasture situation is still less than ideal, but I'm coping.  I'm riding just outside the existing arena - the footing in the little arena, such as it is, is rutted, inconsistently wet and dry, and full of weeds.  Plus, it's quite small.  So I'm riding in the sloped, also somewhat rutted flatter area in front of the little arena.  This is not as ideal as riding in the pasture I had designated as riding space, but it works fine for now.  I can jump the natural ditch and the natural bank, and as far as dressage goes ... if I can get Apollo round and balanced up and down the slope and over the ruts and rough ground, he can be balanced and round anywhere.  It's good for his muscling, too.

So that dressage and work on muscle and round happened yesterday.  I'm not pushing him terribly hard just yet, even though it's almost mid-May.  Footing hasn't been good enough to ride consistently until recently, so we're working, but not going to failure or anything.  Still, he broke a good sweat, and by the time we finished, I had good, connected work both directions and all gaits.

I'm trying to remember to "not school shit," as Kelly would put it.  If I ask for a transition, I want it to be a good transition, or at least the transition I asked for.  I want a marching walk, a responsive trot, etc.

Exciting thing of the week is XC schooling on Sunday!  Yay!  Going up to the local home course with NT and a bunch of students, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Ride on!

My name is mud.

Mud.

Mud mud mud mud mud.  I am so unspeakably tired of rain and mud.  It's just not safe to ride right now, because I don't have a sand arena to ride in.  Just ... mud.  Non-grassy mud or grassy mud, take your pick.  Eight inches of it.  Even Apollo's stall is mud.

Seriously, this rain has got to stop.  Send it to California or Idaho!  They need it!  We do not.  We are flooding.

I suppose I could be tack walking, but honestly, I'm not sure even that is safe.  I do not in any way want to jeopardize Apollo's hooves, tendons, ligaments, stifles ... anything.   I suppose just walking is workable.  Maybe.  If it's safe, if it's not too slippery, at least walking will build muscle.  Apollo needs more push behind, and it's purely a strength thing.  

So all that said, I did haul Apollo up to New Teacher's place yesterday and over that initial weekend.  We had a ball over that weekend, even though it was (say it with me) RAINING.  Apollo was very good, I sort of remembered how to ride, and we got to hang out with NT and her buddy the saddle fitter.  I'd known her buddy from CotH, and I'd always thought she was engaging, so I was glad to meet her too.  Anyway, NT and I worked on regularity, push from behind, and bend on the flat, and we worked on reminding my body how to ride over jumps.  Yknow, basics like line, pace, speed.  Important stuff like that.  

Yesterday, we continued work on my position.  Mostly keeping my leg on and heel down.  I think that's the thing we all need to work on most, the thing we hear from our teachers most often!   We worked back and forth in a figure 8, trotting over a vertical with placing poles. It was first set around 2'3 and then NT raised it as I settled in and Apollo got moving.  Much with getting him ahead of my leg in the trot, too.  NT decided that I'm confirmed and no problem over 2'3-2'6, so she nudged us out of the comfort zone and put the fence up to 2'9-3'.  No real problem, but I have to work my leg even better at that height, because Apollo has a nice bascule over fences.  Straightness is an issue, too - this will start getting better as both horse and rider get stronger and jump a bunch more jumps.

We moved to doing a much smaller outside line, which pointed out the straightness thing and reminded me that I have to keep him going and going to really have the impulsion and energy we need.  Then NT added in a last vertical off a short right turn.  Suddenly leads were important!  Also, that last vertical had a dry Christmas tree under it to brush it out a bit, and this conversation ensued:

NT:  Does he care about brush or fill or anything like that?  Some horses care, some don't.

Me: Well, he might, but I'm going to sit in the back seat and say JUMP! when we get there, and he should.

NT: Good!  Do it!

And I did, and he did.  :)  He took a hard look at it before the fence and in the air - I think that peeking through the knees thing is pretty hilarious - but he jumped it no questions asked.  We could have stood to be much straighter and have picked a better line, but we got that sorted out in the end.

The best part of the lesson was honestly the fact that we had both improved since that first weekend.  I find that a little surprising, just because we haven't been able to ride much, but I'm pleased.

I also hauled Apollo up and back ALL BY MYSELF.  No help.  Rawk!  I didn't get the Hook Trailer Up achievement, but still.  This is the first time I've ever hauled by myself.  I even had to stop for gas.  :D  And back up.  Nothing was damaged, no mailboxes taken out, nothing.  Hehehehe.

So ... yeah.  Right now, my world is mud.  And my riding pasture has been taken over by a couple of horses, so even if I had an arena, I couldn't ride.  Unless the arena had a fence, which would be ideal.  With any luck, I'll get a few rain-free evenings this week to at least walk Apollo and tell myself that slogging through the mud slowly is good for his muscles.  If not ... well, there's always horsey situps and calisthenics.