So, yeah. My original plan didn't work out quite the way I'd planned. I ended up having to work a bit late last night, then had to pick up a cot and a camp chair (which took me two stores to do), then had to get some food put together for the show, et cetera. I didn't get to ride, which is a real bummer.
I'll ride tonight, though, and get my tack and barn accessories loaded into the trailer. Then home to pack up the home stuff, test my tent, pack up the dogs, get the cooler ready, do laundry, pack the laundry, and try to get some sleep.
I doubt I'll have a chance to bathe Rev, but maybe I'll find someone to hold her while I wash her tail at least. She'll be clean enough if I just do the hot toweling bit, especially because this is just. a. derby.
Rev has nice neat feet, and new shoes on the front, too. Cliff decided to put nifty aluminum jumping shoes on her, and it's pretty fun. Very shiny!
We had a jumping lesson on Wednesday, too. I got some things right that I hadn't been able to get right in the past, and MT had some good things to say after the lesson. I did, however, find myself spooked about jumping her out of the canter, even though we didn't have any trouble with it. I just need to jump a thousand more jumps, honestly, and lose the nerves. I WILL get over it. As much because I really want to get over it as anything.
I also discovered that certain movements make my back hurt like a bitch. :/ I jumped ahead of Rev once, and when we landed my back seized up and it felt like things were grinding against each other ... ow. Fortunately, Rev seems to know when things are really wrong, as opposed to me just being worried, and she takes very good care of me then. She just walked slowly to the center, without me having to steer her much, and let me move around until I got my back unlocked and my head stopped swimming. Good horse.
But yes, progress is being made. Mantra: I have time. Mantra: It's okay to be scared. Acknowlege the fear, and then focus on what you have to DO. Feel vs. act -- choose act.
I also decided, while pondering fear, that the important part of the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, as written by Frank Herbert, is not "I must not fear."
No, the important part is: "And when [the fear] has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." I, and the knowledge of things I need to do. Thank you, Paul Atreides.