Updating! (edited to explain blog title)

So it's probably going to be exceedingly windy tonight, gusting up to 40-45 miles an hour. It's likely that the Test of Choice night is going to be cancelled or rescheduled -- which is both good and bad for me. Good, because I could, in theory, get Training 1 and Intro A ready to go again for the reschedule date. In theory. Bad, because I learn so much from scribing. I learn what judges look for, both good and bad, and it makes it much easier to turn in better tests when I ride.

So we'll see. No matter what, I'll be at the barn tonight and ride. I can't not, yknow?

Blog title: After my boyfriend mentioned the concept of nana korobi, yo oki to me, I knew I had found the right title for my blog, if not my entire life. The phrase translates from the Japanese as "Seven times fall, eight rise." It's both inspirational -- keep going, until you've gotten up one more time than you've fallen -- and an excellent description of my riding life. A ride didn't work right today? Try again tomorrow. Failed at doing something? Try again tomorrow. Fell off? Get back on. Just. Keep. Trying. Which has been, so far, the story of me and Rev. I've stuck with her when most people wouldn't. Some days, that's less about my perseverance and more about my inability to sell her, but more days than most - and especially lately - it's just me deciding to be patient and hang in there. Nana korobi, yo oki.

In other news, last week I'd ordered the royal blue galloping boots and the royal blue saddlepad I've been coveting from Dover. I got the shipping notice yesterday. I also got, in my snail mail, a Dover catalog with sale prices on a lot of things -- including the saddlepad I ordered. It'd gone down from $17.90 to $9.99. Thinking that I had nothing to lose by calling, I called Dover's customer service line and asked the nice representative if they might be able to refund me the difference. The representative said she'd be happy to do it. :)

Thank you, Dover! This is one of the reasons I like Dover Saddlery -- in addition to nice customer service, they often have excellent prices on accessories like this, and they have a great selection. (I have to note that I found a better price on my Mountain Horse High Rider II boots from a different site, but for things like horse boots and saddlepads, I always go with Dover.)

In other, OTHER news, I wholeheartedly recommend APF Pro, from Auburn Labs. Good for horses, dogs, and people. Reveille doesn't need it, but the high-level horses at the barn take it, and I take it. :) Good stuff.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled life -- and me back to mine.

Ack!

Ack! I haven't had time to blog lately! I'll give a quick update, and then I promise a much longer entry tomorrow or Thursday.

* This blog will be renamed shortly. :)

* I've figured out exactly what MT means when he says that Rev responds best to canter aids given almost entirely with the inside seatbone.

* I'm skipping tomorrow's Test of Choice night; I'd been sick Monday and Tuesday of last week, so I had to work late Wednesday through Friday, then work on Saturday and Sunday to make up for the time I missed. So there's no chance of turning in a reasonable test, even if there weren't going to be huge winds and cold tomorrow.

* Nonetheless, the practices I'd had while MT, TW, and TD were in Kentucky at Rolex were great. I feel like I learned a lot while they were gone.

* Entered the Event Derby ... at the cross-rail level. Hopefully I can go through with this plan. :)

* I miss my horse. Can't wait until tomorrow, when I'll get to scribe the ToC night, and then ride afterward. :)

Pictures of the ToC night

A few pictures of the ToC night. Quite a few of them were terrible -- me in bad positions, etc. Things to work on, really.

At X, halt, salute.

Good luck charm!

Circle left 20 meters. (Not so submissive, but otherwise okay)

Smile on a long rein

Cute portrait of Reveille

Cute portrait of both of us (ugh, diet!)

After looking at the pictures we got of the tests, I have a few additional thoughts:

OMG I need to lose weight. Like, now. Like, lots.

What the hell is my butt doing so far out of the saddle, and why am I clinging with my heel? There's a spur on that heel, idiot, stop that.

My horse is awfully cute. I can be.

Perfectly satisfactory.

Well. The Test of Choice night went quite well, all things considered. We definitely had some bobbles, and her Submission scores were a deserved 4 on both tests, but we also got lots of 7s and good comments. Helpful comments. I was particularly pleased with the "balanced transition" comments I got through both tests, the 7 on our free walk in Intro A, and the "Well ridden, good patience!" comment on Rider Position and Aids.

We have several things to work on, like her not being so tense, better entry at A, and better use of the arena, but overall -- I'm quite pleased with the outcome of our first tests of the year, first canter departs outside, et cetera.

And there will be pictures. :)

That's a relief.

Well, since the ToC night has moved to Friday, and since we had a really good ride tonight, I think we have a reasonable chance of scoring above 50 on Training 1. ;) I'm deliberately deflating my expectations, of course, but I was quite happy with our ride. We even had more than one right-rein circle with actual right bend! *gasp* I was pleased with her forward, and I ended up getting canter transitions when I wanted them. I also played a little with lengthening and shortening in the canter, which worked. I didn't ride for long -- MT would certainly have made us work much much harder -- but I was still quite pleased. Whew!

Another small thought

I hear so often about people who are driven -- people who, when things don't go well or when they fail at something, they just get back up and try again and again until they succeed and excel.

I'd never really felt that about anything until I started really working with Reveille. Now, like in Saturday's lesson, when things don't go well, I want to try again. Go and go and go until I get it right.

This is a strange, but good, feeling.

Faith restored, I think.

So. We had a lesson on Saturday, and I can't even begin to express how glad I was for it. I didn't ride well, but I learned a lot -- and I have some new things to work on that will help me a lot. I was incredibly grateful for MT's help, not only in riding Rev, but for all the various corrections he gave me. At one point in the lesson, I was really having a crisis of confidence -- this seems to happen to me a lot -- but he pretty much ignored my comment to that effect and we carried on. :) Exactly the best response.

One of the corrections he offered was about leg position and how I was using my spur. I'd been borrowing the working student's spurs, which are about 3/8 of an inch long, maybe 1/2 inch, and I wasn't at all feeling like I was getting any effect from them while I rode. So I ended up with too much work with my leg again, and too much use of not enough spur. I really needed the reminder, and I was immensely grateful for the loan of his own spurs last night. (My boyfriend has said he'd get me my own pair of 1" spurs for Easter -- what a keeper! :) We tried to pick some up last night, but no dice at the FLTS.)

And the other thing he was working on and coaching me through was lengthening and shortening within a gait -- he worked trot and canter, I worked just trot. I didn't do so well, but I get the premise, and I know what it ought to be like/what it's for/why I ought to do it, so I can practice on my own. We worked over some trot poles that were just a tad long for her, to get her to really stretch, and of course shortening and lengthening are important for that.

So last night when I rode, I worked a lot on shortening and lengthening. I was 100% better than I was in the lesson, but I would say it was about 35-40% of where I need to be. I even worked on shortening the canter a bit, and it went reasonably well. I wasn't really focusing on the canter, but at least I did a little. I was much happier with last night's ride than I was with last week's rides, so ... I think I am past the mini-crisis.

Plus, the Test of Choice night has been moved to Friday, so I feel like I've gotten a reprieve, time to keep practicing and recover any ground I'd lost last week. Whew! Now if I can just find a caller for Training 1 ... :)

ALSO -- my new helmet cover came in! Squee! It's bright blue and white and altogether adorable. I can't wait to use it. I'll have pictures soon, I'm sure, since my boyfriend is a wonderful photographer. (I might also have pictures of last night's ride, too, depending on how they came out. Happy!)

Playing catchup again.

I think my life's calmed down enough now that I can focus on more than one thing at a time. Annie the dog is still not well, but we're closer than we were, and I'm no longer so stressed I don't know what day it is or what I'm doing. I think I can pick this blogging thing back up now.

So.

Next Wednesday, I'm entered in a little, friendly, casual Test of Choice night. Basically, you pay $10 to ride a dressage test for a judge, just to kind of get a gauge on how you're doing, practice a test that isn't ready for prime-time, practice a test you'll have to perform for real in the near future, work the kinks out of a test, yknow ... whatever. No pressure, no ribbons, no competition. This is really nice, because it forces riders (me) to get out and DO something. Just ... try it.

This time, I'm riding Intro A -- again -- and I've gone ahead and decided to take the step to the next level and try Training 1. This is the perfect forum for me to do that, and up until yesterday's ride, I was pretty damn sure it would go okay.

I have to confess: last week, I didn't ride during the week at all. :/ What with Annie's vet appointments in the middle of the day, I ended up having to work late every day, and when I did get home, I was absolutely wrecked. Stress, lack of sleep, nausea due to stress ... the whole nine yards. I rode on the weekend days, and Reveille was fine. Good, even. I felt like we could go ahead and make that jump to prime-time canter transitions, even if they weren't perfect.

Tuesday, I longed her for about an hour. I'd intended to ride, but when we were working on the line in the side reins, she just seemed to need some intensive work. So that's what we did. We worked on energetic trot, bending to the inside, working over her back, prompt transitions, and generally worked quite intensely. I let her rest on Wednesday, seeing as I had to work late anyway, and then went to ride yesterday.

Dude.

That was the worst ride I've had in ... weeks? Months? She. Was. TERRIBLE. Flailing her head, fishtailing around, not moving forward, counterbending ... gah. All the things we've been working on and had made so much progress on ... gone.

At one point, I actually got off, put her back on the longe line, and basically pressed the GO button. When I got back on, she was better, but she didn't make it out of the TERRIBLE zone until the end of the ride, when I finally got her moving forward into a good trot and a little bit of canter. I decided I wouldn't be picky about the bend or the head position, as long as she went forward. UGH. I really hope that tonight's ride is significantly better.

Some things I'm going to change are:

* Stretch carefully before I get on. I think I was stiff and tense, and that doesn't make for a good ride.

* Just hop on her, without longing her, tonight. She got enough work last night that I won't be in any danger, and I think getting on without longing sometimes helps a lot.

* Use MT's spurs, as he'd offered to let me do, instead of the working student's pair. His are a bit longer than her Tom Thumb set, and I think that helps.

* Focus hard on a soft, elastic contact.

* Comfortable, relaxed warmup, more than usual -- as much for me as for her.

I think that should help me AND her. I suspect my balance was way off, my weight aids were scrambled ... et cetera. I "talked" to Rev about the ride, apologized for my being all screwy, and asked her to please work with me instead of against me, because it'll be better for both of us. :) Here's hoping she learned the power of human speech overnight. *grin*

I think having her in half training was incredibly beneficial, and I'd like to start it up again in May. (April's out, due to Rolex and the need to be gone for something like two weeks or more) While MT and family are gone, though, I have absolutely got to ride her at least four or five days a week if I want her to progress.

I really want to get to jumping soonSoonSOON ... I don't want to miss out on this first Derby. I'm so. freaking. tired. of doing the ground poles class -- even though we will, if we need to, because the show experience is good for her and me. So I have to keep her together and get myself going. I probably ought to ask MT what exactly I need to do to be ready to start jumping, in his opinion. I'm a little nervous that the answer will be "consistency." Not only the hobgoblin of small minds -- it's the hobgoblin of little bay mare and little chubby girl pairs, too.

We'll see. Meanwhile, excelsior.

Stress, but success anyway.

So -- to catch up, now that I have some downtime at work and a powerful need to unburden myself of some words ...

First, spurs are an amazing, magical invention. On Friday of last week, we had a really great school with the canter departs and even cantering over poles. I'm not sure what was so different, but it was a great ride. I didn't have to work hard at getting what I wanted, once we got going. (It's usually a challenge to get that first canter transition, and then we're off and running, as it were.)

When we were done, I went ahead and took her outside to just kind of wander around and enjoy the sunshine. Unfortunately, this plan was scuttled by frisky tobiano horses of a couple of different breeds out in the pasture. :) She spooked once; all was well. She spooked twice, and I decided that this was only going to escalate, so I hopped off and led her through a series of ground poles several times so that she didn't get to quit by spooking, even though I didn't feel like staying in the saddle was going to be productive for me.

So Friday was awesome. Of course, on Saturday morning in my lesson, I couldn't reproduce the results. :/ Trot was ... okay, not great. I had trouble and trouble and trouble getting the canter depart, and I had trouble keeping her in the canter, and just ... trouble.

About 10 minutes into the lesson, MT pointed out that my stick just isn't really useful any more for me, and then he went ahead and had me drop it.

About 12 minutes into the lesson, MT said, rather pensively, "yknow, I think a little spur might help you a little bit -- get her going without you having to work so hard."

About 20 minutes into the lesson, I got the dreaded "Okay, stop. Just stop. Come to a halt," complete with hand-waving gesture. *laugh* (Okay, it's not dreaded, but it's one of those things when you just know you're Not Getting It. :) The quasi-working-student, as opposed to the actual working student, had a laugh over lunch about this phenomenon and the inevitable mental "ah, dammit" we get when we hear it) He unbuckled the spurs from his feet and stuck them on my feet, then told me to just find her sides with the spur. Not use them, just ... find her with them. Let her know they're there without any pressure.

And then we walked on.

Holy crap, the difference!!

I didn't really have to even use the spurs. Just a normal leg aid, and we were trotting in a nice working trot. Normal seat and leg aid, and we were cantering without any indication that she was going to fall out of it. Over the poles in a canter, and no problems. Suddenly I didn't have to work so hard with my leg aid to get a reaction -- I could just work on my seat and my balance, without worrying about the forward as much or as hard. Downward to trot, through a second set of poles through X via B and E, back upward to canter, back over the canter poles on the long side, back to trot, change direction ... hey, it WORKED! Awesome. :)

So she's had Sunday and yesterday off, and we're back to it today -- I'm looking forward to riding, a lot.

Of course ... now that I feel like we're actually getting somewhere, I got a call last night from someone who's really interested in coming to look at Reveille and maybe buy her.

If this person had called two months ago, I'd have been much more inclined to be excited about it. Hell, if she'd called one month ago I would have been interested.

But now ... I don't think I want to sell her. Especially given what's going on with my poor little dog -- it feels like the universe is threatening to take my dog, and now my horse. Annie the dog will be okay, but the surgery is going to be very expensive. I could certainly use the money I would get from selling Rev for that and for a couple other things -- I can't deny that selling her would make financial sense.

But there's so much more than finances involved in having a horse. There's my heart involved too. I've given this horse three years, which is way more than a lot of other people would have given her when her bucking was a problem. I have sunk so much time and money and love and patience and stress and thought into her ... am I really willing to give all that up? Am I really willing to let this horse, this little bay individual with whom I've been building a bond, especially lately, just go off to someone else? Before we ever achieve anything I was hoping for? I didn't buy her to sell her. I bought her to keep, and to compete, and to just share life with. I'd thought I should sell her because I didn't have the confidence that I could ride her, develop her, et cetera, the way she needed.

And now, I think I can do all those things, with MT's help.

What do I do?

I think the answer is "not worry for now." The woman interested in her might not ever call me back. She might not really be interested; she might find another horse closer to her; she might not have the money ... etc. So I should stop worrying and keep riding and appreciating my horse for now.

Right? Worry about what needs worried about -- Annie, the other bills, work -- and not what isn't here yet.