Stress, but success anyway.

So -- to catch up, now that I have some downtime at work and a powerful need to unburden myself of some words ...

First, spurs are an amazing, magical invention. On Friday of last week, we had a really great school with the canter departs and even cantering over poles. I'm not sure what was so different, but it was a great ride. I didn't have to work hard at getting what I wanted, once we got going. (It's usually a challenge to get that first canter transition, and then we're off and running, as it were.)

When we were done, I went ahead and took her outside to just kind of wander around and enjoy the sunshine. Unfortunately, this plan was scuttled by frisky tobiano horses of a couple of different breeds out in the pasture. :) She spooked once; all was well. She spooked twice, and I decided that this was only going to escalate, so I hopped off and led her through a series of ground poles several times so that she didn't get to quit by spooking, even though I didn't feel like staying in the saddle was going to be productive for me.

So Friday was awesome. Of course, on Saturday morning in my lesson, I couldn't reproduce the results. :/ Trot was ... okay, not great. I had trouble and trouble and trouble getting the canter depart, and I had trouble keeping her in the canter, and just ... trouble.

About 10 minutes into the lesson, MT pointed out that my stick just isn't really useful any more for me, and then he went ahead and had me drop it.

About 12 minutes into the lesson, MT said, rather pensively, "yknow, I think a little spur might help you a little bit -- get her going without you having to work so hard."

About 20 minutes into the lesson, I got the dreaded "Okay, stop. Just stop. Come to a halt," complete with hand-waving gesture. *laugh* (Okay, it's not dreaded, but it's one of those things when you just know you're Not Getting It. :) The quasi-working-student, as opposed to the actual working student, had a laugh over lunch about this phenomenon and the inevitable mental "ah, dammit" we get when we hear it) He unbuckled the spurs from his feet and stuck them on my feet, then told me to just find her sides with the spur. Not use them, just ... find her with them. Let her know they're there without any pressure.

And then we walked on.

Holy crap, the difference!!

I didn't really have to even use the spurs. Just a normal leg aid, and we were trotting in a nice working trot. Normal seat and leg aid, and we were cantering without any indication that she was going to fall out of it. Over the poles in a canter, and no problems. Suddenly I didn't have to work so hard with my leg aid to get a reaction -- I could just work on my seat and my balance, without worrying about the forward as much or as hard. Downward to trot, through a second set of poles through X via B and E, back upward to canter, back over the canter poles on the long side, back to trot, change direction ... hey, it WORKED! Awesome. :)

So she's had Sunday and yesterday off, and we're back to it today -- I'm looking forward to riding, a lot.

Of course ... now that I feel like we're actually getting somewhere, I got a call last night from someone who's really interested in coming to look at Reveille and maybe buy her.

If this person had called two months ago, I'd have been much more inclined to be excited about it. Hell, if she'd called one month ago I would have been interested.

But now ... I don't think I want to sell her. Especially given what's going on with my poor little dog -- it feels like the universe is threatening to take my dog, and now my horse. Annie the dog will be okay, but the surgery is going to be very expensive. I could certainly use the money I would get from selling Rev for that and for a couple other things -- I can't deny that selling her would make financial sense.

But there's so much more than finances involved in having a horse. There's my heart involved too. I've given this horse three years, which is way more than a lot of other people would have given her when her bucking was a problem. I have sunk so much time and money and love and patience and stress and thought into her ... am I really willing to give all that up? Am I really willing to let this horse, this little bay individual with whom I've been building a bond, especially lately, just go off to someone else? Before we ever achieve anything I was hoping for? I didn't buy her to sell her. I bought her to keep, and to compete, and to just share life with. I'd thought I should sell her because I didn't have the confidence that I could ride her, develop her, et cetera, the way she needed.

And now, I think I can do all those things, with MT's help.

What do I do?

I think the answer is "not worry for now." The woman interested in her might not ever call me back. She might not really be interested; she might find another horse closer to her; she might not have the money ... etc. So I should stop worrying and keep riding and appreciating my horse for now.

Right? Worry about what needs worried about -- Annie, the other bills, work -- and not what isn't here yet.

Good and bad

The good news: We practiced canter departs almost exclusively last night, and they went quite well. We're just about there, just need more practice at getting the transitions smooth and balanced now that I can get them.

The bad news: My little girl corgi is very, very sick -- looks like her liver is failing. So off I go to the vet tonight and tomorrow morning to take care of that. I'm pretty worried. So -- no riding or gaming tonight. Just vet.

More later.

Just keep swimming

Productive weekend, I think. Sunday's lesson was about tempo, using my spine as an aid, canter departs, moral authority, and not always practicing in the same way. This was the first time MT had talked about the idea of using the spine as an aid -- he also called it putting his back on the horse. I don't know that I'm entirely clear on it, but I was able to get results when I used it: I sat up straight and sat or posted right smack in the middle of the saddle, and Rev's gaits got clearer, better, and more forward. MT also talked about how, when I unknowingly start leaning forward, my seat and weight aids get muddled, so Rev just starts ignoring them. So I'll be working with that idea this week, as well as clear and short leg aids and canter departs.

By the end of the lesson, I was able to get pretty prompt canter departs -- after I'd invoked the moral authority of my stick behind my leg. Heh. Plus, I was able to recreate the effective aid I'd figured out on Friday by myself. It took me a while, and I had to remember the trot I had on Friday, but we got there.

Odd note: MT was waiting patiently while I was flailing around and not getting any success, and after several flaily circles, he asked me "So, what are you actually doing to get the canter?" Something about the pause to switch my brain from physical to verbal, and then trying to verbalize what I was doing, fixed my problem. As I started to narrate my aid as I gave it -- "First I move my outside leg back," -- I got the canter depart. Just odd. I think my words didn't move as fast as my brain did in analyzing what I needed to do and then doing it, because I know for dang sure that not only did I put my outside leg back, but then I sat on my inside seatbone and cued with my outside leg and then my inside leg while I scooped my inside seatbone forward. Strange experience, and it makes me think about how my brain and body work together ... makes me wonder how I can harness that. As it were.

On Saturday, it was so unbelievably windy at the barn! I commented to TW and a couple of other people as we watched a lesson that I thought we might all wake up in Oz, the wind was blowing that hard. It was windy enough that MT came over to mention to me that I should probably avoid the A end of the barn, since the wind stripping sometimes comes loose, and the wind was worst on that end. He gave me a fairly strong caution -- which prompted me to wonder if maybe I ought to just longe Rev and wait to ride until the next day. MT said that was his plan for his own horses, so ... yknow, I'll follow his wisdom!

Rev also got introduced to the P3 machine on Saturday.

She was ... not impressed. I think "freaked out" isn't a bad description for it. She didn't mind it over her shoulder and neck, but when MT got to her back and hip area, she was definitely weirded out. She would jump forward or sideways when one of her larger muscle groups would twitch, with the expression of "OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!" on her face. Total non-comprehension. Fair enough, I suppose -- horses who haven't had the P3 used on them can't possibly have a frame of reference for electrical charges making their muscles twitch involuntarily!

I hope she gets to like it as much as one of the other barn horses, who practically drools when he gets P3-ed. MT saw a difference in her when he rode her on Sunday; whether it was the P3 or the fact that he hopped on without longing or something else entirely, it was a good difference.

Looking forward to riding this evening after Spanish tutoring; it's gorgeous out, and I want to work more and longer, without giving in to the "aw, okay, good enough" monster! My weekly schedule is going to be clearing up next week or the week after, which will be nice. The standing Tuesday evening thing is falling apart, so that opens Tuesday nights up. Depending on how froggy* I feel during the week, I'll try to ride Mondays as well, and keep up my existing schedule ... which will be a good thing. That plus half-training ought to keep Rev pretty busy. :)

* Meaning energetic and enthusiastic. I have no idea where this term came from, but I use it. I'm not always feeling froggy; annoyingly enough, my immune system is pretty weak, and I end up wearing myself out and getting sick or whatnot pretty easily. TW actually "sentenced" me to early bedtimes yesterday, when I couldn't stop coughing after my lesson ... and she's a wise lady. Sleep, vitamins, APF, and not trying to do it all, that's my sentence.

A little more clearly, this time

So -- now that I have a full keyboard, I can completely express my absolute SQUEE!! at this weekend! :)

Starting with the best stuff: So we've been having trouble with our canter departs. And when I say "we," I mean "I." Rev can do prompt, balanced, quiet departs with MT, but with me, all I'd been getting is bouncy faster trots. My fault entirely. On Saturday, when MT rode her, he narrated his canter aids for me briefly. I'm not sure if he knew how much trouble I'd been having, but whatever the case, the narration made the difference. On Sunday, when I rode, I decided that I was going to try what MT had said and then make. it. work. And I'm damned if it didn't!! :D

We had a lovely, rhythmic canter that I felt would go on as long as I wanted it to without her falling out of it. Matterafact, she started to slow down at one point, and I was able to just squeeze and get her to not falter. What's more, I felt like I was riding it correctly! I could feel my hips swinging and my butt stuck to the saddle, and everything was smooth. Bliss!

It was a little harder getting the canter to the right -- everything with us is harder to the right -- but I got it.

And better yet, the person who'd ridden before me had been practicing cantering over ground poles; just two poles at about 5 strides. So ... we had a canter. We had ground poles. We had the inclination to play a little.

WE CANTERED THE GROUND POLES!! :D I know, it sounds like such a simple, easy thing, why would I be excited about it? Well ... yknow, you take your victories where you find them. :) It's the beginning of jumping! She jumped a teeny tiny bit, just basically a little bouncier canter stride, and I was right there with her. No problems. It was SO fun and SO rewarding! I haven't felt that delighted on a horse in a long time. Thinking about it still makes me grin and tear up a little. Yes, I know, I'm overenthusiastic. It feels a lot better than the edge of despair I'd been having, so ... yep, I'll keep it!

I'd also asked MT if it was realistic for me to plan on entering the crossrails class at the next event derby. His daughter (the super-high-level rider and oughta-be-Olympian) said, with some skepticism, "well, has your horse jumped yet?" She has, on the line, but not under saddle. MT made my entire weekend by saying "Well, let's start jumping her!" I asplode with excitement. ;) Seriously. SO FREAKING EXCITED. :) Jumping!!

So -- in other awesome news, it looks like this summer is going to have a lot of great stuff going on at the barn.

• In the first week of April, we'll have the first Test of Choice night. I hope to get our canter departs ready for Training 1.
• The weekend after the TOC night will be the first stadium/cross-country clinic of the season, at home. As long as our jumping is going okay, I am SO THERE. Finally I get to ride in a clinic instead of just audit!
• Lots of little shows starting up in May, and I will probably start out just going with some friends and paying the grounds fee to just ride her around, get her used to the environment. If I'm feeling froggy and up to it, maybe I'll post-enter a class, but ... still. No huge expectations.
• In June, MT, TW, and TD (Their Daughter) will be running a Camp. Two and a half days, two riding sessions a day, educational seminars in between, including how to walk a cross-country course and how to walk a stadium course and then how to ride the courses based on your walk. And more stuff too. This could not be more perfect for me. Heh -- they designed it with the Pony Clubbers and 4-H kids in mind, but I am SO going to join in. My friend Kate might go too, and hopefully Crystal -- we'll be the geezers of the group. :) Super excited about this.
• I think I'll be able to go to the derbies up in Bellevue and other places around here, too. And the Test of Choice nights go on every first Wednesday of every month, and I'm all in for that.
• And so much more. Just ... squee! :D